Reflecting on 2018 and life with Bipolar 2

Reflecting on 2018 and life with Bipolar 2

My experience of hypomania; grandiose, overly confident, reckless, impulsive, aggressive, no shame, “life of the party”, hyperactive, and lack of sleep. Combine this state with alcohol and you’ve got a recipe for self-destruction. I won’t go into detail about what I’ve done over the years while combining prescription med’s and alcohol but, suffice to say I’m very lucky to have avoided jail.

Last year I had a hypomanic episode that lasted around 3 months. I was drinking heavily during this time and was living dangerously. I was working full time and coping alright during the day at work but outside of work on my down time I was all over the place. Driving recklessly, drink driving, and even started smoking cigarettes to try and cope. My destructive behavior finally caught up with me and I got caught drink driving and lost my license for 6 months.

A friend of mine was also in the late stages of brain cancer which had a big impact on my mental state. When he finally passed away in early May that lead me out of hypomania and crashing back down into depression and anxiety. I managed to keep working for about a month after he passed away but eventually it all became too much and I resigned and started receiving welfare. I did manage to go back and work another couple months of 2018 but come November I was back on welfare again and have been on it ever since.

I’m sharing these experiences to help give a face to hypomania and Bipolar 2. I take full responsibility for my actions and don’t use my illness as an excuse for my behavior. Let’s hope that I’ve learned my lesson and don’t go down that rocky road to self-destruction again.

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5 thoughts on “Reflecting on 2018 and life with Bipolar 2

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your experience not many people can do that, with you sharing your experience maybe people will own up to their mistakes own up to their responsibilities, you truly have a voice and that voice has lead you here and hopefully others will show what you already show and that is remorse

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a lot easier to see in hindsight. When I experience it I’m not conscious of it being unhealthy or part of an illness. I do enjoy the feeling, it beats being depressed and anxious but it obviously comes with it’s own set of problems.

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      1. I find your response interesting. I see some parallels between your experience and my experiences living with ABI (acquired brain injury). When I am reaching my limit of sensory input my body does give me subtle signs that I’m reaching my limit. I usually miss those signs and don’t realize till I’m into serious sensory overload. Once I’ve recovered I look back over the experience a recognize the early signals my body was giving me.
        In both of our cases it’s a challenge with how the brain functions. While the triggers are different, some of the challenges are similar.
        Thanks for sharing.

        Liked by 1 person

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